REPUBLIKA.CO.ID-Jennifer Fayed felt the bleak marriage. He saw no ambition to her husband that unemployment, which has been married three years. She found herself pregnant, while two small children do not escape from supervision.
Jennifer, aged 21 years and still in college, began to contemplate the purpose of his life in the world. The thought that hung in her mind: “There must be a reason for my existence.”
His parents recently moved to the Dominican Republic, a small country in the Caribbean. He felt abandoned, although a husband and two children. This is because during the time he felt an old man who became a role model for him, which became the basis for who he is and will be who he fought.
At that time he was asleep when getting calls from mothers-in-law are frantic shouting “There’s a plane crashes, plane crash in Manhattan.” Jennifer asked confused, “What, what do you talking about!” He turned on the television and saw the second tower of the World Trade Center (WTC ) hit by a plane.
“I’m shocked! Who can do it, anyone who could do this abomination? “Said Jennifer. He could not believe what he saw. “Is this a dream?” He hopes this is just a movie. “Let’s say this is only a movie,” he said to himself.
He had just visited the WTC the day before. He sees this as evidence that has not been time for him to die. He was yet to reach goals in life. “I do not know what that purpose, but this is not the time for me.”
That day, Manhattan-stricken chaos. Jennifer did not know that day became the beginning of drastic changes that will occur in his life.
Not for some time after the September 11 attacks, Jennifer flew to visit her parents in the Dominican Republic. It was one month old pregnancy. Her husband had known her pregnancy.
He was thinking how to tell this pregnancy to her parents. Understandably, her first child was the result of an extramarital affair, which forced him to marry in order to cover the disgrace. Well, he thought, I’ll think about it in the Caribbean later.
He flew the American Airlines flight number 587. He was so quick to fly after the WTC attack. Security at airports is very stringent, and people on the plane to pray, some even do not get out to pray throughout the flight. “I started laughing to myself. If we are going to die, then it’s our destiny. ”
Jennifer kept thinking about her pregnancy. He did not really want this pregnancy. In addition to unplanned, this means a third mouth to feed, while she was overwhelmed to support two children, let alone three.
He was so confused. He spent time with her parents tried to tell them about the newborn baby. He felt unable to tell them, that their eldest daughter again let them down.
Therefore, Jennifer decided to abortion and no one needs to know she was pregnant. “The solution is easy,” he thought to himself. However, on the other hand, he comes from a devout Christian family, who view abortion as something taboo and sin.
He returned to New York from the Caribbean, and make an appointment with the Planned Parenthood clinic to start an abortion. He asked if I could use this pill to abortion.
How disappointed Jennifer that she should undergo a full abortion because the deadline to have an abortion with the pill already missed one week. He was very depressed. “I said to myself, Oh God, they will raise this baby from my belly. What have I done? “He did not know whether this could through all.
He decided to pray to the Lord. However, do not use a rosary or going to church. For the first time, he will pray directly to God like a friend. He felt God should help him. God is the last pedestal.
“I cried as he continued to plead. Oh God please, I do not know what to do. I want this baby, but my marriage was shaking, and we do not have the money to bring a baby into this world again. I fully trust in God. Please, if God wants me to have this baby, I’ll take it. And, if the will of God to end this pregnancy, I also will accept it. ”
“I surrender this suffering to God. God that I worship in my own way, not by being taught to me. God, which to me had no companion, no children, just something that I know has created me, “said Jennifer. He was desperate to think of her pregnancy.
The days passed, Jennifer was watching television when a news broadcast interrupted the event. “Oh no. Not another terrorist attack, “he said. A plane crashed in New York again, this time in the Queen, Jennifer homelands. He worried about a terrorist act is back. He was astonished to hear the flight number and destination pesawaat it. Ill-fated plane was American Airlines flight number 587 with the purpose of the Dominican Republic. Yes, the plane last week. Chill creeping up his spine.
Jennifer was stunned. He could imagine himself is in the plane. He feels this is a sign from God. This is not the first time in less than a month he was so close to death. “God is trying to say something.”
A week after his petition to God, Jennifer began to feel cramps. These cramps are different from the usual felt in the first trimester of pregnancy. He ignored it, no big deal.
Days passed, feeling that the more severe cramps, and bleeding begins to occur. He was so scared. “Am I a miscarriage?” He rushed to the hospital and underwent a rest (bed rest), tight.
Returning home, Jennifer still had to rest in bed despite feeling cramps began to decrease. While asleep, he felt excruciating pain. He felt something come out. “I do not know what to do. I went to the bathroom and found a piece of flesh out. “Jennifer miscarriage at two months of gestation. On returning to the hospital, the hospital making sure she had a miscarriage. In fact, the next day, he was scheduled by Planned Parenthood to undergo the process of abortion, on October 15, 2001.
“It seemed unreal. Is this a miracle from God? Does God answered my prayers. I felt the Lord told me that my life will change. What will change? I do not know. What I know, I have to finish college and I could not survive much longer with the husband who did not want to work and have no ambition in life. “Jennifer finally decided to get divorced from her first husband.
On the environment, New York, Jennifer saw how bad treatment of Muslims. This treatment is happening so quickly after the September 11 attacks. Every day there is always news to report about hate crimes against Muslims. “It was horrible. I witnessed people walking on the sidewalk moved across the street just because he thought there were Muslims. Muslim Business quiet. No one wants to buy from Muslim shops. On the street, people shout to the Muslims, Go to your country, terrorists, Taliban! ”
“Why do people say these words to those innocent people? I agree perpetrators of the attacks are a cruel person, but why blame the people who had nothing to do with the attacks? ”
From this came his interest. Jennifer began to wonder what is believed by Muslims. His interest in the bigger every day. He then signed up to attend an event on campus. There he met Muslim and asking various questions about Islam. “Why do you wear the hijab? Who do you believe? Who was Muhammad, who often do you talk about? ”
“Some people have an answer, but most do not know how to answer my question. Most Muslim women I know do not wear a hijab and said this choice, and said he did not have deep knowledge about Islam. “Jennifer felt no one could give an answer. So, he turned to the Internet to find answers. Is there that he learned about Islam.
“I do not believe that God has sent another prophet after Jesus. I know God will not create me and everyone else in the world without answers to our questions. Why are we here? Why do people always say that God is triune, and this just reinforces what I believe since he was 14 years old that God is one without a companion. ”
“I seek the truth above all my questions and answered all of them Islamic. Muhammad is the prophet of extraordinary. He was the last prophet, the latter was sent by God to deliver His final message to us. ”
Jennifer decided to explore further about the Prophet Muhammad. “Is he a real man? Does he really exist? “Jennifer was surprised to learn of the Prophet Muhammad was human. Not only Muhammad was a prophet who delivered the revelation, but his whole life has been documented. “I am amazed, this is my religion,” he thought. “The belief that for years I was looking for, called Islam,” he said.
Jennifer followed tarawih Ramadan in the autumn of 2002, although he does not enter Islam. When the mosque was full of pilgrims. “Unlike the diocese who attended only one type of race or nationality in a particular church, a mosque filled with people from different spectrum. They are very friendly and always say Assalamualaikum, “he recounts. He did not know what that means. He just nodded embarrassed.
“It is time to perform their prayers. This is my first prayer as a Muslim, “he said. He actually did not know what they’re doing. However, a friend said ‘just follow what they do’. So that’s what he did.
Jennifer mumbling mimic other pilgrims. He also participated prostrate, without knowing the purpose and reason. “I loved it. I am amazed that all Muslims face the Kaaba at the same time every prayer, regardless of the hemisphere where they originated. We do not have this in the Christian, absolutely no, “he explained.
At that time he was wearing a headscarf to honor the pilgrims. He did not know how to wear hijab. So, he bought two pieces of shawl (scarf), which he pairs blindly. “I feel elegant and warm when wearing the hijab. I could walk the streets without seen as sexual objects. People are staring at me, but I do not care. ”
Home from the mosque on that day, he was determined to wear the hijab all the time. “People keep saying that I do not have to wear the hijab because I am not a Muslim. My only comment is my decision and it’s not their business. When wearing the hijab, there is a feeling secure, warm feeling inside, that I follow God’s command. I do not care about the stares and negative comments from people. ”
Jennifer was not doing enough. He also did a few days of fasting in Ramadan. Then, he thought how to say this all to his parents.
When his parents came from the Dominican Republic, Jennifer was seriously considering to say the shahada. “It’s just, I do not know how to tell my family, especially my mother because she was very talkative to me. I have been wearing the hijab, so I can not let go just because consider the feelings of my mother, because my obligation is to God, and only then to parents, “he said.
For starters, Jennifer told her sister, Catherine, who five years younger. He wants to see Catherine’s reaction, which may be similar to the reaction of her parents. He called Catherine and said, “Hey Catherine, I’m doing something.”
Her sister was shocked. Understandably, Jennifer was used to doing something outside the norm. “What are you doing this time Jennifer?”
Jennifer said she was considering converting to Islam, and he now has to wear a headscarf. Catherine laughed hard. “He said now I really have been ‘doing’ and our parents would ‘kill’ me. He also said he did not believe I am now one of the terrorists. ”
However, Catherine immediately connects the sentence, “You are my brother and I love you no matter what religion you profess.” “He also said that our parents run amok,” said Jennifer. Do not stop there, Catherine then said “Do not tell my father and mother without there, so I can laugh at you.” Jennifer knew her sister was only joking.
Jennifer finally dared to tell her parents. “My father could accept it. I think most men would be able to accept it if it means a child will cover his body. ”
However, his mother was very angry and shocked. “He kept telling me that I am one step and not the religion of Islam proper. One of the most against him was that I was wearing a headscarf. ”
It took two weeks for her to return quietly. “Soon they ahirnya can accept. However, my mother keeps saying that this is only temporary, a stage, and I will return realized, “said Jennifer. A week later, Jennifer finally decided to say the shahada.
That day, the first Friday of January, Jennifer woke up feeling upset. It’s her big day, the day he will say the shahada. He took a shower and catch the train to go to the mosque to say the shahada.
At the mosque, he met the priest and said he wanted to say the shahada. The priest looked at him with a smile and say “Are you sure, this is what you really want?” In the spirit of Jennifer replied “Yes, yes, this is my decision.”
“So, on that day, all the brothers, male and female, join to see my conversion to Islam,” said Jennifer. “That day, so many people say congratulations and tell me if I needed anything, they would help me. I was so lucky. Here is my new family, a family whose members come from throughout the hemisphere. ”
“On Friday night when I sleep, my first night as a Muslim, I had a beautiful dream, a gift. I was in a valley full of beautiful green grass. Foothill so beautiful, I’ve never seen throughout life, and I walked over there to a man. He also walked up to me, she wore a white galabiya. His face was vague, did not resemble the real human face, but bright as the sun. I feel so warm and safe. He held my hand and we walked together toward a large circular stone. On the stone that he sat and I sat on the grass. He then told me ‘Welcome to Islam’. ”
When awakened, Jennifer felt that such a beautiful feeling in his heart. “I think this is the Apostle. He came to welcome me to Islam. I then discovered that it was not the Prophet Muhammad, but one of the angels of God who has welcomed me, because angels do not have a human face, but her face fuzzy (blur). ”
Jennifer felt very special since that day. “An angel, an angel of God came to welcome me to the religion of Allah, my religion. Religion is so I have dreamed of since childhood. Islam is a religion of truth. ”
Jennifer Fayed is now a writer living in North Carolina, USA. Various writings have inspired many people. He has a degree in business marketing, and an active member of Muslimah Writers Alliance.